"is there any hope?"

my dad was there.  my brothers were there.  i was there.  all of us gathered to meet with my mom and her doctor to share with her the fact that her leukemia had returned.

i guess i knew this was a possibility when i was with my parents on march 4th when the oncologist first told us about AML.  i just hoped for the best.  i knew my mom could beat it.  i've never met a more positive, up-beat, fighter in my life.  why shouldn't she get to be part of the 10% that beat it?  why shouldn't the treatments go exactly how dr. sigmund "hoped"?

i will never forget that look in her eyes when she heard it.   

if you've heard my mother speak in the last few weeks, it's not always that easy to understand.  at this moment, her response hung in the air as clear as a bell,

"is there any hope?"

with the leukemia back and advancing again, there are really no treatment options available to her.  the best option for her is to spend her time being comfortable and visiting with her family and friends. 

the best place for her to do that is in hospice.  our friend, sally fee, gave my father the tour of the hospice facility in blue ash yesterday and he and i met with the hospice admitting nurse today.  my mom will move there friday morning.

many times the "right" thing to do is far from the "easiest" thing to do.  this is one of those times.  on some level, my mom wants to come home (and she still may).  given her various medical needs and immobility, the hospice environment is the right place for her now.

i must thank you all, on behalf of our entire family, for the outpouring of support over the last few months.  it's become harder for me to post entries here because i don't know what to write.  i can't find the right way to say what needs to be said.  i'm uncomfortable talking to people about how my mom is doing because she hasn't been doing well.  i wanna be a "good news" guy.  well, the good news is probably the Good News in this case.  our time here is but a stop on the journey.  there are truly better days ahead.

there's always hope, mom.  i'm choosing hope and prayer.

blessings,

tim