knock wood...

i am growing very hesitant to say that my mother had a good day.  it seems every time i post that, the next day is 'not so good'.  

what the heck....my mom had a better day today.  her blood numbers are the absolute envy of the BMTU (that's bone marrow transplant unit for you lucky folks that have never been).  the doctor said if she was eating and ambulatory she could go home with these numbers. 

whaaaaatttttttt?  home?

not so fast......she is still getting IV nutrition and hasn't had the energy to do much of the physical therapy it will take for her to be truly ambulatory.  that HAS to become her focus. today the doctor basically told her it was "up to her" when she would get to go home. the infections seem to be subsiding.  as of this posting, she has gone over 24 hours without a fever.  they've checked her for blood clots and that was ok. they're even gradually stopping the different antibiotics. 

not coincidentally, my mom's doctor did morning rounds in march but does not do them in april.  another sign that she "really" doesn't need him anymore on a daily basis.  (i'm all about those 'little' signs).

i am throwing caution to the wind and declaring "progress"!  

there.  i said it.  (i'm knocking on the faux-wood desk.)  now, everyone can focus on eating and activity prayers.  those are the two things that will lead her home.  

thanks again for the thoughts and cards.....i think there were about 15 today.  the other patients are jealous....;-)

"One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating."

- Luciano Pavarotti 

(i think my brother, chris, has that on a t-shirt).

blessings,

tim

two steps forward, one step back...

a tough day for the old bird (as i fondly call my mother).  it seems that her infection (or effects of the infection) has found its way to her lungs and is causing some problems with her breathing.  she has been on increased oxygen all day today as the doctors compensate for the reduced capacity of her lungs.  her blood numbers continue to improve, but they called in a pulmonary specialist to take a look at the results of a CT-scan and see what might be the course of action for the lungs.  they ruled out blood clots or any "new" infection so they are continuing her course of antibiotics and "watching".  evidently, this is not an uncommon side effect.  sitting and watching, however, can be difficult.  

if there was a bright side, my mom got to sleep most of the day (after being awake most of the night).  i wouldn't recommend that kind of sleep, but it made her more comfortable.  i liked the nurse today - kady.  for the most part, my mom has had tremendous care from the nurses.  sure, she has her favorites but, today, i think we had the right nurse at the right time.  she was determined to get my mother comfortable.  i like that.  it takes a special gift to be a nurse.  

on the home front, my mom and dad's freezer went out so my brother, todd, got to empty it's contents and make a trip to the dumpster.....nice.  i think the 4 of us (boys) are planning a little condo cleaning this weekend at their place.  yeah, you read that right....4 boys going to clean.  eat your hearts out ladies.  

we'll take a leaf blower and some clorox wipes.....that's all you need, right?

again, thank you for the kind thoughts and prayers.  speaking of prayers, the minister stopped by the hospital to see my mom today.  i'm sure she "knew" he was there. (not) coincidentally, i saw him tonight at church.  we were doing a final rehearsal for tuesday night's Stations of the Cross presentation (8pm hyde park community united methodist church - wink, wink).  this was the first time this year that i had seen it from start to finish.  there was something about sitting and watching the Passion story that made me think of my mother.  no, i'm not really comparing my mother to Jesus.  i just felt like an onlooker watching somebody that they loved suffer.  helpless.  afraid.  

"And when they led Him away, they laid hold of one Simon of Cyrene, coming in from the country, and placed on him the cross to carry behind Jesus."

 - Luke 23:26

i need to look for that Cross in my mom's room tomorrow....

blessings,

tim (of madeira)

a possibilitarian?

a better day today for my mom.  it seems that her elevating blood counts are helping her cope with the ongoing fever and infections.  she is still very run down and sleeps a lot but she is visibly better than yesterday (and that's really the goal everyday).  she got some more blood today (she keeps asking for the blood of a very young, healthy person).

i spent some time this afternoon watching her and my dad (both) sleep in the hospital room.  i'm sure my dad will need a chiropractor when my mom gets out of the hospital.  i did talk to the nurse when she came in about every 30 minutes to either give my mom medicine, change an IV or take vital signs.  i also managed to do a few more sudokus......i'm glad my brother bought a big book of them.

i'm looking forward to my mom's doctor being back tomorrow.  there was a lot of changing of meds over the weekend and it will be nice to hear his appraisal of her progress.  her white blood cells doubled again.  who knows what tomorrow brings?

 

my mother is growing used to her newly shone melon.....since she has had the fever the last couple days, she spent most of the time with a cool washcloth on top of her head (which was a sight, indeed).  today she went "commando" (if you can do that with your scalp).  i have gotten a few suggestions of 'famous bald people' i left out of my collage the other day......most notably elmer fudd.  i tried to keep them all photographs not cartoons....something to do with the gestalt of the design. there may be more artwork in the future.

anyhoo...keep up the positive thoughts and prayers.  i can feel a momentum growing that will have her putting a string of good days together this week. 

"Become a possibilitarian.  No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities - always see them, for they're always there."

- Norman Vincent Peale

blessings,

tim

and miles to go before i sleep....

another tough day for my mom.  while they have the leukemia in check for the time being, she is very sick from the treatment.  they have changed around her medications but can't seem to get her on the right track.  despite improvement in her blood numbers, she has not really made progress in feeling any better.  she is still running a fever most of the time.

i honestly think the doctors don't quite know what to do and keep adjusting the antibiotics and pumping the tylenol to manage her fever.  since her throat has cleared up somewhat, she is eating a few more soft foods.  her stomach hasn't fully adjusted to the change.

she wants so badly to feel better.  she's tired.  very tired.  please pray with me as we help her weather this latest storm.  she appreciates all the thoughts and prayers.  as do my dad, my brothers, and me.

"For to be poised against fatality, to meet adverse conditions gracefully, is more than simple endurance; it is an act of aggression, a positive triumph." 

- Thomas Mann

blessings,

tim

i have no excuse.

writing this blog is a privilege.  it's a chance for me to get to "offload" some info about my mom each day.  

yesterday, i think i forgot that the blog wasn't just for me.  i was reminded that a lot of people read the blog each morning to see how my mom is doing and not (totally) to see what weird thing i'm gonna write.

i received a couple of emails that "reminded" me that i didn't give any update on my mom.  well, her white blood cells continue to climb.  the doctor thought that an infection associated with her central line may be the cause of her recurrent fever.  late yesterday, they removed it and replaced it with a PICC line (i think a description is in the central line link).  hopefully, this will help with the infection/fevers.  

the fevers are starting to concern the doctors a little more each day and they may choose to change her medication yet again.  there seems to be some disagreement(?) among the medical team on whether they should use a specific drug to help her generate white blood cells.  we'll see where that ends up.

again, sorry for forgetting to update everyone on her progress.  i, honestly, got to laughing a lot with the "bald picture" and took the easy route.  sorry.

please continue the prayers/thoughts/cards/posts/emails.  they all are SO helpful to my mom.

"Never ruin an apology with an excuse."

- Kimberly Johnson

many blessings,

tim

my favorite bald people....

"When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make lemonade."

- Andrew Carnegie

blessings,

tim

mrs. clean

things started looking up when the nurse practitioner "bounced" into the room this morning at about 7:30.  she was the first (of many) to stop by and report that my mother's white blood cell count had....wait for it......DOUBLED!  almost as she was saying it, my mother perked up.  you have to understand that all day she stares at a whiteboard with her "counts" posted on it.  for the last two and a half weeks her white blood count has hovered around .2 (000s).  today it was .5!  and, as expected with the count increase, her mouth is beginning to clear up.  far from clear, but "better".  still a lot of progress to be made but, oh, do we love positive steps.

she is still fighting a recurrent fever but, in the words of her doctor today, "people don't die here from fevers".  another classic, straight to the heart of the matter comment from the doc.  priceless.  hopefully the counts will continue to improve.  this was day 22 and the average hospital stay is 28 days.  her original goal was to be home (and healthier) by Easter.  that would be day 39.  doesn't she encourage us to set aggressive goals?  i suppose i'll cut her some slack.  let's root for blowing the goal away....

the head was officially shaved today.  unfortunately, i wasn't there to visually document the shaving.  i will, however, capture a nice image of it tomorrow.  i may have a rare "midday" post.  i'm taking my black & decker hand buffer with me to the hospital.....can you say spit-polish?

my dad actually chewed his leash and went to choir tonight.  it's great that he's getting out more.  if you have my dad's cell phone number (and some of you do), call him and invite him to lunch.  as my mother's condition improves, he is more likely to leave her side for a meal or two.

today i got a fair amount of messages from the (old) teachers at forest park high school.  my mother's circle of impact is vast.  keep the comments, cards, and emails coming.  i have a great many to share with mrs. clean tomorrow.

i'm going to bed (or maybe watch the duke game) so i can get to the hospital early.  my daughter is enjoying the early hospital visits because that means she gets a ride to school.....spoiled.  (maybe someday i'll need her to take care of me in the hospital).

many blessings,

tim